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“A broken hallelujah.” These words have been used over the years to speak of both the pain and joy wrapped up in the reality of adoption. We especially get to see this played out in the world of foster care. 

Current statistics show that approximately 24% of children who enter foster care will end up being adopted. The broken and the hallelujah are clear. A child has already lost their family if they are needing an adoptive one. It means their parents could not take the steps to be a healthy, safe place to return. It also means all other family members have been exhausted as possible places for them to return. This is one of the most devastating losses a person can endure whether at birth or at age 16. If we jumped right to the hallelujah, we would miss the depth of this and therefore not care for children in light of this loss. Let us count it worthwhile to lament with children (and adults) who lost their family of origin in this way. 

But the story doesn’t end there. Each child in this position has the opportunity to find a new forever family through adoption. What an opportunity for God’s people to be those families when needed! In adoption, where a child could be orphaned, they are not. Where brokenness looks as though it might win, God intervenes and brings restoration to a child’s story and trajectory. We rejoice that “He places the lonely in families.” (Psalm 68) Though the need for adoption is born out of a loss, it does not stop there. God builds families in the most unexpected and redemptive ways. Adoption echoes God’s heart, as he has made us his own sons and daughters. Every time we witness an adoption, let it remind us that God is committed to bringing restoration, both in the now and eternally. Even though we pursue family reunification, it does not minimize our celebration of adoption. We fight to hold in tension these different outcomes in foster care and we can celebrate both, knowing that every situation is completely different. God is bringing restoration to children and families through adoption and we get to be a part of those stories.

“I could never say goodbye.” A very relatable phrase that is often voiced when considering foster care. The fear that it is too hard to love a child for a season only to say goodbye. The reality is, though, that foster care is signing up for just this: the hope you’ll say goodbye. 

You might think, The hope to say goodbye? How could I ever do that? It helps us take a few steps back and remember the original intention of the foster care system: to be a temporary place for children who are experiencing unsafe conditions or unmet needs. It was not meant to be a permanent place for children and the hope is that kids and their parents will be reunited. The most recent statistics show that the state’s goal for majority of children in foster care is reunification. This means the state is working hard for a child to return to their family and believes there is a strong possibility of this happening. God’s people are invited into this work. We recognize that God does not make mistakes when he builds families, and until it is clear that a family cannot be reunified, let us pray and work to the end that kids will get to return home. This does not minimize our celebration of adoption and other outcomes for kids and families (as we will talk about in the coming weeks), but would miss the original goal of foster care if we jumped right to other outcomes. 

God desires to see restoration, not just in the children affected by foster care, but in their families too. Reunification is a good goal for kids in foster care, and often will be the primary one. When families reunify, we celebrate God’s restoration in their lives. A child that could’ve been orphaned, is not. A child that could have grown up without connection to their biological families, does not. A family that could have been separated permanently, remains together. While this does not minimize the pain we might experience in saying goodbye, it counts it absolutely worth it to love a child for a season while their family works toward health and healing. We celebrate that a reunified family echoes the beauty of the ultimate restoration God will bring one day, to all kids, families, and people.

In a busy courtroom, a judge orders the return of two children to their mother. After months of therapy, family visits, and anticipation, the time has come. Mom is ready and kids are even more eager. This family gets to be together again and return home. The road has been long and hard, but today is a day for rejoicing and restoration. Across town, a foster family tightly hugs the kids they’ve loved for 9 months. They feel like their own, yet they know this is what is best and what is right. Bittersweet tears are shed. A family is restored.

Just down the hall, in a different room, a judge’s gavel swings and she declares an adoption final. Cheers erupt and faces beam as a foster daughter becomes simply “daughter.” Great loss occurred to get to this moment, but restoration and a new family emerges. A child is no longer in the foster care system and a new family is born. 

These two stories are common ones if you’re familiar with the world of foster care. Both are complicated and involved a long journey filled with unknowns and months, sometimes years, of waiting. Foster care, more than most things in this world, puts on display that no two situations are alike. As you enter your role in the foster care journey, you will bring your own experience and expectations. Perhaps the hope of adoption is primary for your family, or maybe you are seeking to foster until they reunite with their family. Or you might have no idea what your role will be but you are eager and open to discover what it is. The good news is that when it comes to foster care, there are many outcomes that can result in restoration for families and kids that reflect God’s heart for those impacted by foster care. At Restoration Collective, we celebrate the many outcomes for kids and families that bring restoration.

In 2 Corinthians 5, Paul calls the people of God to be ministers of reconciliation. What is the basis for this? The basis is that we have been reconciled to God through Jesus’ death and resurrection. Let’s not miss the gravity of this truth! We were separated from God, without hope of that changing on our own. Yet God, in His grace, made a way for us to be reconciled to God and in relationship with Him. Even better, He promises to never leave us nor forsake us. God is a reconciler. So how does this affect foster care? It is this same heart of God that calls us to be a part of reconciliation in the lives of others. 

Over the next few weeks, we are going to explore the different outcomes of foster care that demonstrate God’s heart and commitment to restoration, and how restoration comes in many forms. We will more closely look at how family reunification, adoption, and kinship placement/adoption beautifully demonstrate reconciliation and are some of the many “wins” in foster care. Whether you entered foster care with a set of expectations or are unsure of what you were saying yes to, there is great opportunity to broaden our vision of what is possible. May we trust God’s heart for everyone impacted by the reality of foster care. He wants to bring restoration to brokenness. What a great privilege that he invites us to be a part of it!